Proverbs 31:10-31

Becoming a Proverbs 31 woman

“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.

She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭10‬-‭31‬ ‭

This proverb has been on my mind for several weeks now. The biggest desire in life I have is to be a wife and mother and that has yet to happen. I am grateful for the opportunity that I have right now in my life. Some call it a season of singleness but I call it a season of preparedness. A season in which I have the opportunity to prepare myself to be the wife and mother I will one day be. To practice the lifestyle of what is referred to as “the proverbs 31 woman”. It takes an enormous amount of patience, humility, selflessness, ambition, and strength to be this woman. Every day I have to remind myself of this passage when I find myself in a trying or difficult situation. When I’m tired and it’s late and I still have to do the dishes and housekeeping chores I haven’t done yet. When I am in a situation where selfishness would be way easier but selflessness is the right choice. I have to remind myself that it’s practice for having my own household one day

The proverbs 31 woman puts others needs above her own. When she is among those near to her and they choose the selfish choice that causes her discomfort the right thing to do would be to let them have their way. An example of this happened just today, we were at a family fun center and my youngest sister glued herself to me and insisted on doing all the fun things that she was interested in, I didn’t have a choice in a single activity we did, with limited amount of activities we can do. The selfish thing to do would be to tell her no and go do what I want to do, but the right thing to do is to let her choose all of our activities. Realistically all the activities were super fun for her and only slightly fun for me, so letting her have a blast and enjoying the moment of being with her and seeing her joy should have been enough for me. I had to keep reminding myself that she is going to have far more fun than me and one day when I am a parent I won’t get to choose the selfish choice, this is just practice.

You see the proverbs 31 woman puts others needs and wants above her own for the good of others. Do you think she wants to be up late sowing and then up early planning? Do you think she wants to work all day preparing and selling and homemaking all day every day? Probably not, I’m sure she gets tired and wants a break. But she doesn’t give in to her selfish desires and she is praised and honored and blessed. The scripture says she suffers nothing from laziness. How many times do we think to ourselves, I just need a day off, or I need a break. How often do we indulge in our laziness?

A woman with strength and dignity is secure in her abilities and knows her capacity. She is careful to not give in to the temptation of selfish desires or laziness. This time of limbo between being a child and being a mother, is a foundational time for setting the standard of excellence for yourself. If you indulge now, it will be far easier to indulge later when life is harder and more demanding. As a single woman, I do not have as many responsibilities as a homemaker and mother does, even though my days may be full and it seems my capacity is at a limit. This is the perfect time to practice that work habit and set a standard for myself.

I remind myself all the time that this life is not here for my glory, but rather the glory of God and it is selfish to indulge in my desires rather than those that would benefit the Kingdom. I hope all you single ladies are taking advantage of this time to become that Proverbs 31 woman, because if you don’t set standards for yourself now, they won’t be there when you need them later. Use this time wisely.