One of the things about our society and culture these days that bothers me is the glorification of the victim mentality. 

What do I mean by glorification of the victim mentality? Glorifying the victim mentality is when you continually dwell upon the negative events of the past. It’s when you constantly refer to trauma and abuse as an excuse for misbehavior or downfalls. It’s when your whole life is seemingly ruined by that event. It’s the “why me” thought process. The thought process of “My dad abused me so now I hate all men.” 

Here’s the thing, bad things happen to literally everyone on the planet. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react. You can make it happen for you rather than to you by way of shifting your mindset to think differently about your reaction. I’m not discrediting what happened to you, and certainly I am sure it affected your mental or physical health. But here’s what I am saying, no matter how bad it was, there is a way to forgive and move on. We can acknowledge the horrendous circumstance but don’t stay there. Because the longer you dwell on it, the longer it affects you. Dwelling on negative events continually brings up the same feelings and trauma. That’s not a very fun thing at all. What you need to do is work through it so that you can let go of those negative effects that were caused by the event/s.

Trauma and abuse are a very sad reality in our world that can be hard to overcome, but once you have overcome it, think of the testimony you will have! 

Here are just a few examples of amazing people who overcame adversity and used it as a testimony

“Jim Carrey used to be homeless.

Carrey revealed to James Lipton on “Inside the Actor’s Studio” that when he was 15, he had to drop out of school to support his family. His father was an unemployed musician and as the family went from “lower middle class to poor,” they eventually had to start living in a van. Carrey didn’t let this stop him from achieving his dream of becoming a comedian: He went from having his dad drive him to comedy clubs in Toronto to starring in mega-blockbusters and being known as one of the best comedic actors of an era.

Bethany Hamilton had her arm bitten off by a shark.

Hamilton started surfing when she was just a child. At age 13, an almost-deadly shark attack resulted in her losing her left arm. She was back on her surfboard one month later, and two years after that, she won first place in the Explorer Women’s Division of the NSSA National Championships. Talk about determination.

Benjamin Franklin dropped out of school at age ten.

Franklin’s parents could only afford to keep him in school until his tenth birthday. That didn’t stop the great man from pursuing his education. He taught himself through voracious reading, and eventually went on to invent the lightning rod and bifocals. Oh, and he became one of America’s Founding Fathers.

Richard Branson has dyslexia.

Branson was a pretty bad student — he didn’t get good marks and he did poorly on standardized tests. Instead of giving up, he used the power of his personality to drive him to success. Today, Branson, known for developing Virgin Records and many of its more technologically advanced spinoffs, is the fourth richest person in the UK.

Oprah Winfrey gave birth at age 14 and lost her child.

She is one of the most successful and richest people in the world today, but Winfrey didn’t always have it so easy. She grew up in Milwaukee, Wis. and was repeatedly molested by her cousin, uncle and a family friend. She eventually ran away from home, and at age 14 gave birth to a baby boy who shortly died after.

But Winfrey’s tragic past didn’t stop her from becoming the force she is today. She excelled as an honors student in high school, and won an oratory contest which secured her a full scholarship to college. Now the entrepreneur and personality has the admiration of millions and a net worth of $2.9 billion.

Kris Carr turned her cancer into a business of hope and healing.

In 2003, Karr was a 32-year-old New Yorker just enjoying life. But then, a regular checkup at her doctor’s office resulted in a diagnosis of a rare and incurable Stage IV cancer called epithelioid hemangioendothelioma, existing in her liver and lungs.

Instead of succumbing to the disease, Carr decided to challenge her diagnosis head on. She attacked her cancer with a brand new nutritional lifestyle, and turned her experience into a series of successful self-help books and documentaries. Eventually, she launched her own wellness website, which is followed by over 40,000 people. Today, Karr is celebrating a decade of “thriving with cancer,” and is now revered as one of the most prominent experts on healthy living.

Franklin Roosevelt became partially paralyzed at 39.

After vacationing in Canada, Roosevelt developed polio, which eventually left him paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. Even though he couldn’t walk, he went on to lead the country as one of the most respected and memorable presidents in history.” 

Charlize Theron witnessed her mother kill her father.

When Theron was 15, she witnessed her mother shoot her alcoholic father in an act of self-defense. Instead of letting the trauma immobilize her ambition, Theron channelled her energy into making a name for herself. She would eventually become one of the most respected and talented actresses, becoming the first South African actress to win an Academy Award.”

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/successful-people-obstacles_n_3964459

“Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head and survived

A young woman whose name has become synonymous with courage and perseverance in the face of extreme hardship, we have to talk about Malala Yousafzai. Born in Pakistan, Malala advocated for girls’ education at a young age, speaking out against the Taliban’s efforts to prevent girls from attending school.In 2012, at 15, Malala was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman while on her way to school. Miraculously, she survived the attack but faced a long, difficult road to recovery. Undeterred by the violence and intimidation she had faced, Malala continued to speak out on behalf of girls’ education, becoming a powerful voice for change.In recognition of her advocacy work, Malala was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014, becoming the youngest-ever Nobel laureate. She has since gone on to found the Malala Fund, which promotes girls’ education worldwide and has become a symbol of hope and inspiration for millions of people.

J.K. Rowling faced abuse, illness, poverty, and depression

She’s the author that brought magic to our childhood. J.K. Rowling is a celebrated writer who climbed her way out of the darkness to become one of the most successful writers in history. Rowling was born in England in 1965 and had a difficult childhood marked by poverty, family illness, and an abusive relationship. She struggled with depression and even contemplated suicide at times.Despite these challenges, Rowling found solace in writing and began working on the manuscript for the first Harry Potter book. At the same time, she was a struggling single mother living on government assistance. She faced numerous rejections from publishers before finally securing a deal with Bloomsbury in 1996. The success of the Harry Potter series was unprecedented, with the books selling over 500 million copies worldwide and inspiring a global phenomenon.Literary success aside, Rowling has also been an outspoken advocate for social justice and equality, using her platform to raise awareness about issues such as poverty and mental health. She has also established the Lumos Foundation, a charity that works to help children around the world living in institutions and orphanages.”

https://listverse.com/2023/05/14/10-inspiring-stories-of-people-who-overcame-adversity/

These are just some examples of people who, I think we can all agree, faced some of the worst of the worst situations. Have you ever been shot in the head, eaten by a shark, witnessed a murder? Most likely not. But what is the defining factor between you and them? They picked themselves up and dusted off the past and used it as a reason to move on. I’m not saying your trauma is not as bad as theirs, trauma is trauma, the whole point in trauma is that it is traumatic to you. There is no level of severity of trauma, it is all real and raw and scary. But why live in those emotions when you can give it to God, pray for peace, and move on. That’s the glory of the gospel, there is no such thing as too much or too hard for God. If it is too hard for you to face it and move on, then give it to God and He will give you the strength and peace you need.

Here’s the thing, you can cling to your past and use it as an excuse or you can rise above and forgive and use it as a reason. Turn your test into a testimony and share your overcoming with those who are in the very place you came from. I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park, but I am saying that the worst thing you can do is stay where you are. It’s hard, it’s scary, and it’s not possible on your own, but try and with God you can become an overcomer.

John 16:33 (ESV)

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

1 John 5:4-5 (ESV)

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world— our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?,

1 John 4:4 (ESV)

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

Romans 8:37 (NLT)

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.,