Jesus and The Ten Commandments

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

“Some Pharisees and teachers of religious law now arrived from Jerusalem to see Jesus. They asked him, “Why do your disciples disobey our age-old tradition? For they ignore our tradition of ceremonial hand washing before they eat.” Jesus replied, “And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’” Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “Listen,” he said, “and try to understand. It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.” Matthew 15:1‭-‬11

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1‭-‬4

Honor: to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect : to regard or treat with honor.

Respect: To have a high or special regard

Once again, Jesus is turning this into a matter of the heart. In Matthew chapter 15 he explains that you can say you honor your parents, you can act as though you honor them in front of them. You can put on the show, but are you truly honoring them with your decisions or your thoughts? is your heart truly in it? Jesus wants us to understand that it isn’t just what you say that counts. It is what goes on in your heart that counts. God doesn’t really care about the trivial little things, he cares for your heart. 

“But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭15:18-19

In the same way, Paul emphasizes that Fathers shouldn’t take advantage of this commandment and use it to disrespect their children. Fathers are held to the same standards. When parents disrespect or provoke their children it causes the children to act out in anger and in turn disrespect their parents. It’s like the proverb says “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭15:1‬ when you speak out in anger it provokes the other to react in anger too, but when you use gentle answers it encourages the other to also answer gently and deflects their anger.

What is in your heart is going to be reflected on the outside. Disrespect is a product of a heart that does not truly honor. The heart is the root of all our actions. Jesus was noticing that the Jews were following the law really well, almost too well. They had everything down to a science, so much so that they had people always watching for a law to be broken. But they never really got the point. They did what they were told to do, but did they truly love the law? Did they truly honor their parents? Or did they just say what they had to to avoid being stoned? Jesus mentions in Matthew chapter 15 they are so set on following it to the point that disobedience is death, but they twist their words just right and it suddenly becomes okay. In doing so they end up contradicting themselves, and ruining the whole point of the law. 

As Christians we are called to stand out from the crowd. We are called to love differently than others. One of the ways we can show our love outwardly is by honoring and respecting our parents. That means that we must treat them with esteem and dignity. We must treat them better than we would want to be treated. I struggle with this a lot and one thing I have learned is that when you feel the urge to disrespect or dishonor your parents, the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and pray to God to give you wisdom and patience.