What do I mean by not settling? Well it can mean many things depending on your relationship status. Let’s break it down:

Single:

If you are single, it means don’t just date whichever person looks the nicest or talks the smoothest. Don’t go looking for surface qualities and just settle for the rest. No, actively be intentional about who you are considering for a relationship. If they don’t meet your expectations, then they don’t deserve you, drop them like a hot potato. You should never go with someone just because they are the only one to show interest in you. Settling would be like accepting your fate of being forever single or just going with whoever looks at you. You should prioritize your own growth and desires, and if you are just looking for anyone, then maybe stop and work on yourself first, so that you can be in the right place in your growth journey to challenge yourself and not settle with whatever.

Dating:

If you are in a relationship, it can mean not getting stuck in a rut. You need to be actively growing in your relationship. Continually seek new ways to get to know them and strengthen your relationship. It can also mean, evaluate the person you are in a relationship with, do their values and beliefs match yours? If they don’t, then you shouldn’t be settling on them just because they’re cute. Find out what values and beliefs you have in common and which one’s you don’t. Don’t let the fact that you have already been seeing them for so long affect your decision to stay or go.

Married:

If you are married then not settling means, don’t allow yourselves to get caught up in the mundane and forget to sow into your relationship. You should be actively dating your spouse, treating them, working on your relationship. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can stop trying and working on your relationship. There are still many things you can learn about them. Don’t let life take over your relationship, be intentional about your relationship and actively seek a deeper relationship. Do things to keep the marriage alive, switch up your routine or your usual activities. Keep it fun and exciting even through life’s challenges and stresses. If you keep your marriage lively, it can be a welcome distraction or foundation for whatever is going on in life.