Sow into the relationship before it exists

What do I mean by sew into the relationship before it exists? I mean check yourself, are you pursuing growth in yourself? Are you actively working on your attitude and mindset? Are you thinking future minded rather than present minded? The more you work on yourself and your relationship with God before you get into a relationship the more you will grow in your relationship. If you know you have things you should be working on in yourself, like a tendency toward a bad attitude, or you are controlling, or you don’t value your worth, this season of singleness is here for you to invest in yourself and better yourself. So that when the time comes for a relationship, you can be ready to bring your best self into the relationship and work on sewing into them. This also means to actively pray for a blessing over your future relationship.

You’ve heard of the law of attraction, and if you haven’t I’ll explain. While I don’t believe in the law of attraction, the principle still holds true. Essentially it says that people are attracted to your energy so if you have a negative energy, you will attract toxic relationships, if you have a positive energy, you will attract healthy relationships. I don’t believe in all that new age energy junk but I do believe that believe see the way you carry yourself and the way you act and talk. I believe that it definitely affects what kind of people are attracted to you. For example, if you carry yourself poorly and don’t manage your finances well, and you bad mouth people, do you think you will attract someone who is mature, attractive, financially sound and positive? Likely not.

Remember that list I suggested you create? Remember how I encouraged you to write down a list of characteristics you are looking for in a spouse? I want you to look back on that list, are you living up to the standard you want in a partner? If not, what makes you think they are looking for any less? This is the true meaning of sowing into your relationship before it exists, become the spouse you desire so that the spouse you desire notices you. This means if you are looking for a Godly spouse, then you need to make sure you are pursuing Godliness yourself. If you are looking for a spouse who is healthy and fit, are you working on your health and fitness? Let me put it another way, in these two instances, if you are looking for a Godly partner and you are not making that a priority for yourself, you will never find a Godly partner, because they too will be looking for someone who values Godliness and lives it, by default they wouldn’t be looking for you. Same with health and fitness, if you don’t hold those qualities they likely are not looking for you because it’s something they value.

I am essentially saying, become your list. Become the person you desire and God will place the right one in your life. You attract what you are.

This is a great concept to practice outside of romantic relationships too. Sow into all your relationships be the kind of friend, sister, cousin, coworker you want. You can be the light to any relationship.

Sow into your relationship

A relationship should be 100%-100% all the time. You should be putting forth 100% effort and they should be putting forth the same amount, but not expecting any effort back. Because you putting in 100% will encourage them to put in 100% then you will end up with a 100%-100% relationship rather than a 50%-50% crappy half hearted relationship. Then if one of you has a bad day you may end up with 100%-50% and then you’ve still got a relationship with over 100% of the effort being put in. Some days it’s just going to be 100%-0% and you have to be willing to push through those days and make the best of it.

What I am saying is, put your all into your relationship. You can’t just halfway do a relationship. You’ve got to invest yourself into the relationship and put in your effort, your time, your energy, your devotion. It has to be real and genuine. Truly sow and invest into your relationship. Give your partner your whole attention when with them. Let them know they matter enough to have your full attention.

Does that mean you should worship your partner and put them above all else? No, not at all. Putting your full effort into the relationship may look like focusing on your work to support them. It may look like allowing each other space when needed. It is taking the time to know what their needs are and fulfilling them to the best of your ability. It is allowing each other a safe space with each other to grow and mature in your relationship with God and your relationship with each other. It also means pampering them and showing them how much they mean to you no matter how they treat you. Love on them no matter the cost, like Jesus did with us.

For more advice on how to give 100%-100% the bible is a fantastic resource. Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 7, and many more.

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Ephesians 5:2