Can we talk about obedience for a moment? I feel like this is the lesson God is currently teaching me. I am learning how to give up control of my life and be obedient through every step. Sometimes it really hurts to obey Him. And it leaves me asking why. Sometimes it causes me to lose my sense of control which sends me into an emotional spiral of wondering if I did the right thing. It has been a hard lesson to wait when I’m being told to wait, and move when the time comes to move.

‘So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:9

One thing I am reminded of is the importance of staying in constant prayer. This discipline has become my lifeline the past few weeks. Staying obedient in prayer as well as action grants me the peace in knowing that whatever happens, no matter the outcome, I am in alignment with the Father. Through that comes peace. Truly a peace that cannot be explained. By any standard I have every right to despair and grieve. But instead I feel peace. 

‘Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ‘ Philippians 4:6-7

‘Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18,23-24

‘Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all. ‘ 2 Thessalonians 3:16

‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them. Lord , you will grant us peace; all we have accomplished is really from you. ‘ Isaiah 26:3-4,7,12 

The path of obedience is most certainly not easy, but it is made smooth. Every action step I take, I can have full confidence that it is God guiding me down this path. Even when it feels uncomfortable and causes sadness. That sadness is not outweighed by peace. Every blessing in my life is a living testament to God’s goodness and faithfulness. 

Even in the midst of the situations I faced I cannot explain to you the urging of God and the prompting to obey. But when I was not in obedience and I allowed my will to supersede God’s, I got nothing but unrest and anxiety. It wasn’t until I finally took the necessary and painful step to separate myself from the thing holding me back, did I find peace. The only way I got there was by truly keeping in communication with God. He guarded my heart when I needed it even though I willed it to become unguarded. He clearly gave me the signs that what I wanted was not best for me, even though it sounded so good and looked so good. I ignored them for a little while thinking it would work out, but instead all I got was unrest.

‘The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!’ Psalms 32:8,11

‘Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord , and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord . Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord , and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Put your hope in the Lord . Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you by giving you the land. You will see the wicked destroyed. Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace. ‘ Psalms 37:3-7,23-24,34,37

Right now my path is unclear and I definitely stumble daily. I feel as though my mind is working against my soul. It wants to send me into fear and sadness, confusion and uncertainty. It feels like a roller coaster in my heart and mind because I am constantly battling this urge to let my feelings take over and beat me up. Yet the next moment I remind myself that I am here by God’s direction and Will. There is a purpose and a plan for this moment and this direction. I don’t know what it is yet but I need to give God the reins and stop letting my emotions knock me around.

‘Hear my prayer, O Lord ; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Interlude Come quickly, Lord , and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord , preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. ‘Psalms 143:1,4,6-8,10-11

So my goal right now is obedience no matter what and then trusting that when I obey, I will be blessed. I am switching my mindset from thinking about me and my wants to truly earnestly seeking God and longing for Him above all else. I want my every desire to be for God, to thirst for Him. I want God to be my satisfaction, not my desires. Yes my wants are there for a reason but I need to bring them into submission to God’s desire for me. 

‘O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely. ‘ Psalms 63:1-8

‘As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. ‘ Psalms 42:1

Just in the past week I have felt God’s blessing and joy through the pain. Even though it hurts, the joy and peace are unexplainable. It gives me strength to know that it will be okay. When the time comes the blessings will come. One day the desires of my heart will be fulfilled. Right now I don’t understand why God has me walking in the way I am. I don’t understand why God called me to move the way He did. But God doesn’t call us to understand, He calls us to trust and obey. With obedience that means we have to humble ourselves and come into alignment with His will. One day I may understand, or maybe it’s not for me to ever know. But what I do need to know is that no matter the outcome of the situation, I can trust that God knows what’s best for me. 

‘But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.’ Isaiah 40:31

‘So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. ‘ 1 Peter 5:6-7

So if you are struggling with walking in obedience because maybe it’s scary or will lead you down a path that you don’t want, just know that God doesn’t call you to do things so that you can remain in control. Sometimes it’s to allow His plan to come to fruition. One thing I know for sure is that God’s ways are higher than mine, and His plans are far better than anything I can dream of. I have been reminded over and over again lately that sometimes we are called to give up the good life in order to receive the great life. But if we keep clinging to the good, there will never be room for the great. Just trust, be still, and know that even if it doesn’t look like you want it to, He is still good and He is still God.

‘“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord . “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. ‘ Isaiah 55:8-9

Obedience can be so clear yet so muddy. You know what you need to do, but that doubt hold you back and makes you second guess. Sometime Satan whispers lies to us to try to get us to step off the path God has for us. We have to know how to deflect those and keep our heads level and our emotions out of it. We often think of peace and joy as emotions but instead they are actions that result in emotions. You have to choose joy and peace. You have to choose to let God bless you. You can’t have peace while allowing your mind to run wild. You have to let it go and trust in the peace. You can’t have joy and allow yourself to dwell on the sadness. You have to change your thoughts to uplifting thoughts. It’s a daily, and sometimes moment by moment choice. But that is what is going to let God have control.

No matter what you are going through in life you have to have a support system of like minded people in your corner. It is so necessary to not walk the journey of obedience alone. Because when the doubts hit you and all you want to do is quit you need someone who will be there to dust you off and remind you that God is doing something and just because it hurts, that doesn’t mean you can ignore God. If I had not had the people I do in my life, the past few months would have been way harder and could have turned out way worse. But instead I always had someone to bounce my emotions off of who could tell me I was not seeing clearly. They weren’t afraid to address the elephant in the room when I tried dancing around it. God puts people like that in your life for a reason. So learn to rely on them when you need to. Learn to use their head when your heart wants to run the show. I am so thankful for the people who have walked with me through this journey of obedience so far, because I definitely need them.

I went on a sunrise hike yesterday and something that hit me was that sometimes obedience can feel like a hike. At the bottom of the trail all you can see is the clouds and winding trail. You know it’s not going to be easy, but you have a friend to go with you. You are expectant to see the view from the summit; to rise above the clouds and feel the sun on your face. As you begin your hike, it seems okay and everything is going well. But as you climb higher to the summit you start to feel the burn, it starts to get difficult. You feel like taking a rest or maybe turning around. It might be getting steeper or harder terrain. If it weren’t for your friend you might just give up and turn around. But you don’t want to let your friend down. You might be doubting your abilities or telling yourself that you aren’t as in shape or as good as you thought you were; doubt starts to creep in. But just when it gets the hardest you see a glimmer of the view from the summit. Just enough to give you the determination to keep going. By the time you get to the top and see the view, you feel like you can conquer the world; you made it! You and your friend rejoice at the journey and the blessings that came from following through.

‘The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.’ Psalms 23:1-6