We can’t have a conversation about Identity if we are not secure in who we are as a person. Your self-esteem is the outcome of a solid identity. So it’s only natural for us to be having a conversation about self-esteem and insecurities.

Not a single human being has not had some sort of struggle with themselves or their appearance. Ask anyone ever and, providing they are confident enough, they will tell you they have insecurities. 

Confidence and self esteem go hand in hand so it’s important to understand the differences and how they affect you. Self esteem is your belief in yourself and Confidence is your belief in your abilities.

I do want to talk specifically about self esteem for a minute. We all know how important self-esteem and confidence are to living a joyful life. But let’s not lie to ourselves, it’s very rare to just be naturally confident in your own skin without having had some sort of challenge or struggle in your self esteem.

There’s essentially two kinds of confidence one can have. There’s either true confidence, or false or fabricated confidence whereas false confidence comes from what we are told about ourselves. Like “you’re pretty” or “you’re smart”. That kind of confidence is only validated through what others say about us. False confidence also comes about from a “fake it till you make it mindset”. 

But true confidence comes from what we know to inherently be true about ourselves. This kind of confidence comes from inside us and does not rely on outside influence to validate. True confidence cannot be shaken by outside influences.It’s the knowledge deep in your core that no matter what happens you are able to face anything through Christ Jesus who is the source of our strength.

‘For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. ‘ Philippians 4:13

Am I saying that false confidence is bad? Not at all. I understand the need to have false confidence as a baby step to developing true confidence, and that is totally okay. It’s okay to borrow other people’s belief in yourself. It’s the first step in becoming truly confident. We have to borrow God’s belief in ourselves until we truly believe it.

Maybe the need for a false confidence is because you struggle with insecurities and that’s what holds you back from becoming secure in your identity. It’s okay to struggle and have doubts, but it is so necessary to your emotional health and spiritual wellbeing to find a true sense of confidence in God’s eyes.

In the book “So Long Insecurity” by Beth Moore, she interviewed more than two dozen men and women and asked them what their insecurities were. It is shocking how many people struggle with the same issues. For women it had something to do with appearance or personality. For men it had to do with their manhood or ability to provide. These are inherently true for every living person at some point. It’s just life, no one can escape it. But let’s talk about how to combat that. Naturally insecurity is a very common issue in the bible, but one verse I’d like to talk about is from 1 Samuel 16:7

This verse is specifically coming from the story where Samuel is looking for the next King of Israel and he keeps looking at David’s brothers and thinking based on their appearances that they are surely the chosen one. But God has to stop Samuel and explain that outward appearance is not all that matters, in fact your heart is the only thing that matters.

What does this mean to us? The world will tell you that it’s okay to judge people based on their appearance but God says it is never okay to judge a person regardless of how they look, talk, act, or appear. Because you are not “you” based on how you look, you are “you” because of who you are on the inside. Your outside is simply a reflection of who you truly are. I can go out and dye my hair black and start wearing all black clothing, that doesn’t change who I am at the core, it only changes how I look. Many people behave differently based on who they are around, that doesn’t mean they changed who they are, they just simply shifted their appearance. 

What am I getting at? I’ve already touched on this a little bit in the beginning, but essentially you were created by the Almighty God who commands the winds and the waves, He designed you to be uniquely you. He put every aspect of your body together, He invented your personality. You need to have a grounded and firm belief of who you are at your very core. Otherwise any kind of insecurity can knock you to the ground. 

People are going to judge you, they are going to mock you, they are going to make you doubt God’s perfect you. It literally does not matter what they say, they can’t change who you are, the only power they have is to cause you to doubt. Now I know it’s easy for me to say that it doesn’t matter when in reality when you are in a moment of doubt, it really feels like it matters. But are the lies being told to you real? Or are they not from God and in need of being blocked like I talked about in my last segment? ¹

My favorite example of insecurity in the Bible is Moses. He is one of the biggest founding Fathers to the story of Salvation, to the story of the Israelite people, of the Christian Faith. We can all agree that he played a huge role in our faith. He wrote the first several books of the Bible, and he is one of the very few people who had an interaction with God himself, in person, where he saw a piece of God. He wrote the Ten Commandments and delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, he performed many signs and wonders through the power of God. Okay, he’s an awesome man, but how does he relate? Well, he didn’t start out as this amazing pillar of faith, in fact, his faith was rather shaky at first. I mean, he did murder a guy. 

Let’s look at that passage; Exodus 3 & 4

Exodus 3:11-15a“But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” 

God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.” But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?” God replied to Moses, “I Am Who I Am. Say this to the people of Israel: I Am has sent me to you.” God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: Yahweh, the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you…” 

This guy just came out of the gate running. “I don’t deserve this job, I am nobody” or “they’re not going to believe me” But God has to reign him back in, I just imagine God rolling His eyes and face palming himself before saying “I Am Who I Am”. God has to remind him “dude I am literally God. Calm down and say I sent you, it’s not that hard.” But Moses just can’t let his insecurity go and has to argue with another insecurity.

Exodus 4:1-2 “But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’? Then the Lord asked him, “What is that in your hand?” “A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied.”

How many of us worry about what others think about us? I know I do. Moses had the same insecurity. But God doesn’t even address this insecurity, instead he immediately shows Moses His power to perform miracles. Why? Why would God not reassure Moses and tell Him everything will be alright? I believe it is because of two reasons. 

First, God is not about to justify or validate that insecurity by addressing it. It’s stupid to Him so why dwell on it? Second, if we have God on our side, fighting for us, who cares what other people think. God has the power to do literally anything, yet He loves us enough to touch our lives and have a personal relationship with us. 

Anything a human being can think or say to you totally pales in comparison to what God says and thinks about you. Remember back to the second lesson where God’s thoughts of you outnumber the grains of sand? Yeah… it doesn’t matter what people think of you, it just doesn’t compare.

Back to Exodus, at this point I just feel sorry for Moses because clearly he has a lot of emotional and mental things he’s going through because he is not done yet with telling God those insecurities. But at least his oversharing is with the perfect person.

Exodus 4:10 “But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

Awe, poor guy he is insecure about his speech, I mean don’t we all worry about these little things. “My teeth are crooked” “My ears are too big” “I have a lisp” “My hair is too frizzy” I could go on. Poor guy was human and had insecurities just like everyone else. But watch what God does, 

Exodus 4:11-12 “Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”

Yes Lord! That’s exactly what every person needs to hear when they are struggling with insecurity. Although I do sense a hint of sarcasm and exasperation in God’s tone, He’s essentially saying “Who do you think made that mouth of yours, are you saying I make junk?” That’s one way to put Moses in his place and make him snap out of his little pity party. But don’t we all need that? We know God made us but to hear God himself saying, I do not make junk and I’m insulted that you would even imply that, is enough to make anyone stop and rethink their attitude. 

So what does Moses do? He gives up. He’s clearly run out of good excuses and literally just says:

Exodus 4:13 “But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”

God’s reaction is the most relatable thing though, because watch how God reacts;

Exodus 4:14-17 “Then the Lord became angry with Moses. “All right,” he said. “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he speaks well. And look! He is on his way to meet you now. He will be delighted to see you. Talk to him, and put the words in his mouth. I will be with both of you as you speak, and I will instruct you both in what to do. 16Aaron will be your spokesman to the people. He will be your mouthpiece, and you will stand in the place of God for him, telling him what to say. And take your shepherd’s staff with you, and use it to perform the miraculous signs I have shown you.”

I do not blame God for becoming angry at this point, I mean you could have sensed the tension building based on His reactions to Moses’ excuses. But this one just gets me. God just says, shut up, if you’re going to be a baby about it I’ll send your brother to go with you to do all the talking for you. Yay aren’t you happy you get to see your brother again? Let him do the work. But don’t forget you’re still the big guns and the real one running the show so don’t forget to show off like I told you to.

We know the rest of the story from there, eventually Moses pulled up his big boy pants and got the job done. But this is such a prime example with real time interaction on how insecurity can creep up on us, but God is such a loving God and will help us through each one of them. Moses had to embrace that false confidence for a minute until he built up the mental security to embrace his true confidence.

As far as self esteem goes, like I said, they go hand in hand. If you work on one, you might as well work on the other. Self esteem is the belief we have in ourselves, so essentially it is your identity. Which can only truly be found in Christ and what we’ve been talking about all along.

Reflect on these. Be honest with yourself.

What are some beliefs you have about yourself based on what others have told you?

What are three things you know to be true about yourself? Not what others have told you but what you know is true. Could be looks, personality, or ability. 

What are three things you want to change about yourself?

Are these things something that you can change, or are they inherently designed by God?

If your insecurity is something you cannot physically change about yourself without drastic measures. Then let it go and give it to God. If you feel insecure about any physical aspect of yourself or personality trait, that is a sign that you need to allow God to reform the way you think about yourself. 

Are there still going to be things that you can objectively and unemotionally say you need to change about yourself? Sure, and those are things that you can work on. These are things like being too angry or wanting to cut your hair. Things you can’t change are the size of your nose, your skin color, things like that. The things that God took the time to invest in and design.

1. https://deepthoughtswithnakia.com/2024/09/16/identity-and-purpose-thoughts/ ↩︎