Don’t get me wrong, this is such a hard thing to follow but it is possible.

Don’t vent to them.

Hold on, I know, we don’t want any secrets between you two, but also, we don’t want any negativity and gossip. Venting almost always turns into gossiping. The bible is very clear on God’s opinion of gossiping(Romans 1:28-32). Also it is important to keep any unnecessary negativity out of your relationship, so if it doesn’t pertain to them nor is it something they can fix, don’t vent to them. I know it’s hard, and I don’t like it either. But most cases of venting can cause them to hold a negative view on someone unnecessarily. 

Instead of venting, try having a constructive conversation to seek out a solution. Another thing you can try is venting to the air when you are alone. Or write in a journal. Or find music that relates to your current emotions and let it out. These are constructive ways to let out your frustration without causing negativity to come between you two. Maybe find someone else you can seek advice from so it’s not all on them to comfort you.

Why is this important you ask? Because if all you ever do is vent and complain to your spouse, it will start to affect their view of you, it will begin to negatively wear on your relationship, and it is completely useless.

Proverbs 21:19, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”

Ephesians 4:29, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

Isn’t this such a big deal these days? You hear husbands or guys complaining about their girlfriends and how all they ever do is complain. It goes both ways too, girls complain about their guy whining all the time. How on earth are you planning on building an emotionally mature relationship if all you ever do is complain to one another about random stuff and then occasionally kiss and make up? How lame. Relationships should be fun and deep and a connection of souls. I tell you what, nothing makes me want to disassociate with someone more than when all they ever do is complain.

Complaining and venting only serves to be annoying and negative and not helpful at all. Sure, you need to let your partner know your feelings. But there is a difference between letting them know how you feel, and venting. It goes back to my last post, stand above the societal norms, be emotionally mature. Learn how to control your emotions.