Are you in a season of closed doors?

How will you respond? Will you still worship?

Are you holding on hope only to realize it is your dream and not God’s?

Often as we journey through this life we find ourselves in circumstances unpleasant to us. Like we have been jolted from our desires. Where it feels like everything we want is nothing we ever receive. 

As we journey through this life it is often an experience that will cause us to question our very own character and heart. Life consists of experiences where it feels like there is a doorway leading to something we want but the moment we step foot on the threshold that door slams closed, injuring us in the process. It is likely one of the most painful experiences a Christian could go through. Albeit maybe not physically but emotionally it feels as though you have been ripped apart from your very nature. 

But pain is often a reminder of something bigger, it is a signal that tells you something has gone wrong. In medicine we say pain is a symptom of a bigger cause. Therefore that pain is there for a reason. Its purpose is to guide you to healing and restoration.

But are you holding on to that dream in hopes that it will still come true, when it might be contrary to God’s desire for you? Is that your dream or His dream?

Yes everyone goes through pain and the experience of closed doors but the thing that sets us apart from the world is how we respond when things don’t go our way. For those of us who have dedicated our lives to the Lord and have given Him the reins, it is up to Him what journey we go on. Sometimes that means things don’t work out the way we want and we are faced with a decision; do it anyway, or sacrifice in obedience. 

How will you respond? Will you seize the dream and follow your heart or will you bend the knee and surrender in worship?

This is a very powerful act of obedience and self control. To lay down your fleshly earthly desires to pick up your cross and follow the Lord.

Matthew 16:24 ‘Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. ‘

Jesus is probably the best example anyone could be for falling down in worship and obedience. He was faced with the decision to either follow through on His Father’s Will and sacrifice His life, or He could choose to do it His way and follow His fleshly desires. Even when He knew there was no other choice to fully complete Salvation, He still didn’t want to do it.

‘He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine….” Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done.” ‘ Matthew 26:38-39,42 

‘He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood. ‘ Luke 22:41-44

The reason I think this is so beautiful is because we face this all the time, especially when life doesn’t go the way we want. We might know the direction God is leading us is better for us in the long run, but it doesn’t change the hurt and distress we feel. How comforting it is to know that Jesus can quite literally sympathise with us. 

In my preparation for writing this I stumbled upon this excerpt which C.S. Lewis wrote in his book Mere Christianity; 

“I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait. When you do enter your room, you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good which you would not have had otherwise. But you must regard it as waiting, not camping. You must keep on praying for light: and of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house. And above all you must be asking which door is the true one; not which pleases you best by its paint and paneling.”

I can only assume that it was God who put this quote in my path. But how appropriate to the topic of waiting for the right door to open. I don’t know about you but even in the face of a closed door and hard times, God likes to still remind me that He is here listening to me. Even if nothing goes my way and people and circumstances hurt me, God literally never fails to pick me up and remind me I am still loved and I am still His.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been going through a really tough time lately for a multitude of reasons. But even in the day to day hurt and despair there have been so many little blessings. They have had nothing to do with what I’m facing, but they are just what I needed to find joy in that moment. 

He blessed me with some incredible friends who never fail to remind me that I am loved by God and by them, even when it seems all hope is lost, they will be the first to show me love and reassure me of my value and worth. They aren’t afraid to tell me how it is and snap me out of it, but also to validate my feelings when I need it. They will let me stay at their house holding their baby until late at night because they know that’s what I need. They literally schedule time to spend with me weekly because they know that’s what I need. They open their home to me whenever I need it.

Another reminder God gave me recently came in the most unexpected way. The other day I went to the bank to deposit some cash I had in my wallet before heading out to a church family camp, but it kept spitting out one of the bills. Little did I know that I would need that exact amount for something and I had not brought my checkbook so all I had was that bill. If that’s not the goodness of God then I don’t know what is.

So here I am in the midst of one of the most painful seasons of my life in a hallway full of closed doors and there is God right there beside me leading me down the hallway. I could turn and easily go into one of the doors because it looks pretty like C.S. Lewis says. Or I could blindly trust and continue worshipping and let God handle the rest.

2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. “

I believe this journey of waiting on God and trusting in his plan is a key factor in strengthening our faith. The more we learn to rely on God every step of the way, the more we learn to trust him and communicate with him, to the point where to stop would be devastating. We become reliant on his strength and guidance. One of my favorite passages right now is found in Psalms. I think I fall more in love with the psalms every time I read them. David had a way of expressing emotions in a way that still bring glory to God but reveals the ache and hurt we experience.

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭86‬:‭3‬-‭13 – “Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day. Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me. There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.”

So let us go forth and believe that the Lord is good and will deliver us. Let us glorify his name forever because of his steadfast love. In every circumstance let’s never fail to worship God and magnify him. We know he’s there, we know he’s listening. Trust that he knows what’s best. And let us run this race looking toward Jesus as our Savior and perfect or of our faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”