Learn to enjoy what they enjoy

Have you ever been talking to someone and you ask them about things they’re passionate about, and their eyes just light up? Imagine that feeling times a hundred when you ask to join them? Or when you consistently engage them in conversation about that thing, or you encourage them to pursue their passion? It makes them feel so good! Now imagine that-but all the time. 

You don’t have to make their passions your passions but at least learn to like it. Sacrifice yourself a little bit to make them feel special. A relationship is all about the give and take and the love you show each other. I promise you, if you learn to enjoy what they enjoy, it will absolutely enrich and deepen your relationship. 

Let’s pick an example, Marrisa loves to take pictures, she has always been an avid photographer. Josh is her new boyfriend, but he hates having his picture taken. He will tolerate her taking pictures of the scenery but always puts up a fight when she tries to photograph him. One day he decides that he will learn to like having his picture taken, so he asks Marrisa why she loves pictures so much. He asks her what are some ways to make yourself look good in photos. He asks her to teach him everything she knows about photography and the perfectly timed photo. Imagine her feelings knowing that he doesn’t like having his picture taken, but setting his selfishness aside to learn from her and engage her in her passion, just for her. I can guarantee you that their relationship just got a lot better. 

Let’s take another example, Todd loves football but Laura could care less. But because Laura knows it means so much to Todd, and because she loves him, she decides to be intentional about watching football with him, asking him questions, cheering on his team, planning things around games. She chooses to sacrifice her dislike in order to make him feel special, so on Sundays, she makes snacks and sits in the living room with him while he watches. She is bored but she puts in the hour to sacrifice a little bit of her time, just to be with him and make him feel special.

You definitely do not need to change who you are in order to make them happy, but just set aside yourself for a minute and think about their feelings and emotions. Consider allowing yourself a few minutes of discomfort in order to achieve a lifetime of happiness. It’s well worth it, and sometimes all it takes is simply listening to them for a few minutes and allowing them to express their passion. Sometimes it takes more, but just remember, you signed up for this relationship and sometimes it requires sacrifice and selfless living.