Who am I that the maker of Heaven and earth would choose to send His one and only Son to die a brutal death just to take the consequences of my rebellion? 

Do I really think I deserve such a magnitude of grace and forgiveness? 

Daily I choose to rebel against Him. Daily I think my will should be sovereign. Why did He choose me? I will never fathom the sacrifice Jesus made for me. But even more I cannot fathom why he continually seeks me out, tracks me down and pursues me. Me! A lowly sinner with nothing to show for my accomplishments. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

I will never understand the Grace of a creator who comes off His holy throne just to hold someone like me, a rebellious daughter in His arms. Why would He spend His time investing in me? And for what point? What does it gain Him? I am no one special, but I must have some significance for the God of heaven and earth to never cease to touch me. 

Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Why was I made? What is my purpose? This I may never know, but for now I know there is a purpose to my existence and I must choose to live intentionally the life given me. I may not understand why or how. It may feel like nothing is the way it ought to be or the way I would desire it but let it be so. 

2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.”

Why am I not where I want to be? Why does nothing go my way? Why does the Lord never satisfy my desires? Maybe it’s because my desires are not what’s best for me. Maybe it’s because what I want would only serve to be pointless, or worse harmful. God is a good and loving creator, I must lay down my wishes and allow His desire to be mine. When it feels like everything I want will never happen, that is because won’t, it must first be what he wants.

Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

So for now I will spend my days in Praise to the One who gave it all. To quote the words of one of my favorite songs “In moments like these, I sing out a love song to Jesus”. I will with my every breath continually worship the Lord of heaven and earth. Maker of the universe. I will delight myself in the Lord and He will satisfy me.

Psalms 63:4-5 – “I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. “