And Steadfast Faithfulness

Among my many times spent in the word lately a few verses have stood out to me and have inspired a dialogue that I feel I ought to share with you all. I don’t often share the journey that a Christian goes through in regards to sin and temptation. But I feel like these verses spoke to me and emphasized God’s desire for how a Christian ought to face moments of weakness and failure.

First, I want to share the desire of the Lord to bless us with good things. There are many verses that talk about God satisfying us and blessing us and giving us the desires of our hearts. But before I turn prosperity gospel on you, there is always a requirement of us in order to receive these good things.

The following verse fed my soul the other day. The Lord knows the desires of our hearts and He desires to fill us and bless us. But what struck me is the need for us to first be hungry for it, to long for it.

“For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.”‭‭Psalm‬ ‭107‬:‭9‬ ‭‬‬

To me this says that our souls will be filled and satisfied with good things. But our heart posture must be in the right place. We have to be hungry for it, even so, it does not always mean we get exactly what we want. But rather we get good things. We get satisfaction from Him.

I have many things that I desire for my life that for whatever reason, have not been fulfilled. They are good things, righteous things. But I have not been blessed with them yet. I hate to admit this, but sometimes the disappointment leads me to give in to my sinful and fleshly desires. Sometimes I want to scream at God and take control. Sometimes I get so angry at Him because I don’t trust Him to do what I ask Him for. I get jealous over others who get exactly what I wanted. I am so confused and impatient sometimes.

Only recently did I come to acknowledge these feelings of anger towards God. I know it is not right and I know that this is probably one of the reasons I have not been satisfied yet. Because I have not felt the hurt and desire on a deep enough level to trust in God alone to satisfy it. This knowledge hurts more than words can express.

Meditate on scripture

I found a recurring theme when reading in Psalms this time. This theme is that we ought to continually meditate on God’s word and His law. That learning His commandments and studying His law will keep us from sin. He will guide us, protect us, and keep us in righteousness. If we let Him.

“The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.” Psalm‬ ‭121‬:‭5‬ ‭

“The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever.”‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭160‬ ‭‬‬

“Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord ! Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways! How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! ‬‬I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:1-3,9-12,105

“Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart. Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it. Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭33‬-‭37‬ ‭‬‬

“Your hands have made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn your commandments. Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice, because I have hoped in your word. Let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight. Let the insolent be put to shame, because they have wronged me with falsehood; as for me, I will meditate on your precepts. Let those who fear you turn to me, that they may know your testimonies. May my heart be blameless in your statutes, that I may not be put to shame!” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭73‬-74, 77-‭80‬ ‭‬‬

Failure Will Come But He Redeems

We are all human and we all have this deeply embedded sin nature. No matter how much you read scripture and pray and worship, that sin nature is still there. We can certainly gain the strength to overcome through Christ and not fall prey to it. But it will never leave until our bodies are made new in Paradise. So unfortunately we will give in on occasion.

If anyone can attest to this it is me. I have fallen prey to my sin nature more times than I care to count. Most certainly daily. Mind you the enemy always sneaks up on me in different ways, targeting my different cravings and weaknesses. But the thing that always breaks me free is staying constant in prayer and meditating on scripture.

There are times when I know I’ve fallen and I think to myself that I don’t deserve God’s grace. How could I ask for forgiveness when he knows what I just did or thought. What kind of wretch would expect grace so quickly after falling. So I let it sit and I wallow in my sin for a few days, allowing it to take hold of me. I think why not just keep it going and enjoy it while I can, I’ll ask for forgiveness later. But that’s not God’s desire for us.

David is such a prime example for this. He messed up big time and what did he do? He went straight to God and cried out for forgiveness. He understood that the only way to break free was through deliverance and forgiveness and praising the Lord despite our filth.

“Let my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word! Let my plea come before you; deliver me according to your word. My lips will pour forth praise, for you teach me your statutes. My tongue will sing of your word, for all your commandments are right. Let your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts.” Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭169‬-‭173‬ ‬‬

“Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day. Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me. There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.”‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭86‬:‭3‬-‭13‬ ‭‬‬

Sometimes just thinking on scripture convicts me and makes me to seek forgiveness. This next verse says “when I think on my way, I turn my feet to your testimonies; I hasten and do not delay to keep your commandments.” How true is that?! When I think of all I have done and my sinful ways, it makes me want to run back to righteousness and not to delay in keeping His commandments. Yet I still struggle in the moment.

Praise The Lord Regardless

Unfortunately sometimes God allows us to go through times of trial and tribulation in order show us His righteousness and our need for Him. I was recently reminded of this verse in Job which got me thinking about my life lately. How many times do I argue my ways to God, even though I hope in Him and know my trouble is for a reason?

‬‬“Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.”‭‭ Job‬ ‭13‬:‭15‬ ‭‬‬

“I know, O Lord , that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant. ” Psalm 119:75-76

Last night was one of those nights where I was wrestling with being dissatisfied with my life and struggling with sin in my heart. As I cried out to God, begging Him for relief from this confusion and lack of patience, and admitting my guilt. I heard this voice say “Oh my sweet child” and suddenly my heart stilled. The Lord is too good to me sometimes. I had spent all of yesterday angry and giving in to sin to make myself feel justified and satisfied. Yet He still listened to me. He still calmed my heart. He still forgave me.

Praise the Lord He redeems us regardless of our actions. David knew this as well. He knew that the Lord deserves the Praise for His deliverance and grace. How many times have I risen to praise the Lord at midnight? It is innumerable. But He is faithful, so therefore we ought to offer thanksgiving and loudly proclaim His steadfast love and redemption.

“I entreat your favor with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise. When I think on my ways, I turn my feet to your testimonies; I hasten and do not delay to keep your commandments. Though the cords of the wicked ensnare me, I do not forget your law. At midnight I rise to praise you, because of your righteous rules.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭58‬-‭62‬ ‭‬‬

“O Lord, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant. You have loosed my bonds. I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the Lord, in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord!” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭116‬:‭16‬-‭19

I believe that the reason these verses jumped out to me so strongly today was because I spent the night wrestling with God. Out of my despair came His faithfulness. He gave me these verses this morning to encourage me to stay diligent in the Word.

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭132‬-‭133‬ ‭‬